CREATIVE WAYS TO FOSTER MORE SELF CONFIDENCE

It is definitely that time, again!  To look to you all, our customers who balance between conservative and courageous moments in your life and to ask you where your confidence comes from.  At Apele, our main focus is to empower women to be comfortable in their own skin (and the panties over that skin!) We want you to feel confident no matter what life throws at you. Here are some of our top suggestions for feeling more confident, while also a few of your own candid stories of confidence.  

Worry Less.  Not being in control can certainly be difficult. Something we wrestle with regularly. While trying to worry less may seem impossible, your best bet is perhaps to capture those thoughts of worry and instead replace them with HOPE as often as you can recall to.  It will also have to become a habit, but at the very least, if you're going to assume the future outcomes (that is what worry is) you may as well daydream of something hopeful and positive. 

Think Less. Have you ever heard the rumor that men actually have a "nothing box" where they can literally think of nada, zip, zilch?  Sounds nice, doesn't it?  Well, as women, we aren't familiar with such a phenomena.  Rather, we always have a stream of thoughts all somewhat weaving in and out of others like a tumbleweed, with at least one song playing in the background. That said, NOT thinking isn't exactly a possibility for us, however thinking less is.  And one of the biggest secrets to thinking less of what's on our minds is to actually think of someone else more. That is, giving of our time, talent and treasure can help us focus on time and energy on others while also thinking of our own problems and circumstances less (not to be confused with thinking less of ourselves, rather thinking of ourselves less). 

Make Value-Based Decisions.  Value-based decision making is a method for making critical decisions in an informed and timely manner. 

1. Identify the critical decisions you are facing that need considerable decisions to enhance your life. 
2. Determine when the decision needs to be made by. 
3. Determine the information required to make an informed decision. Define the purpose, considerations, costs and benefits.
4. Use the time until the decision needs to be made to gather the information identified in step 3.
5. When time to decide arrives, make the decision based on optimal value to your life.
6. Implement the decision as effectively and efficiently as possible.
7. Repeat the decision-making process regularly, especially when conditions change.

Believe in yourself. We are always growing and are only as mature as we are our present age and experience.  Your best bet is to look at your past accomplishments (and even the failures that you lived through). You are where you presently are because you have survived every single moment up until now. You must believe in your ability to overcome. Your resiliency. And if you find that this is a difficult feat, then perhaps discuss this with a professional coach or counselor so that confidence in yourself becomes a new neural pathway of positivity. 

Control less.  Try to be excited about the ability to not be in control of circumstances.  Even if you cannot control what happens around you, you can control (and have full control) of what happens within you.  As ambitious as it sounds, imagine "what if" and allow life to evolve as it will with excitement and enthusiasm, knowing that no matter what, you're capable and confident that you can control your outlook. 

While coming out of your comfort zone isn’t always the easiest, it is certainly worth it! Here, we share what you all have stated are ways you are becoming more self-confident: 

Tamika B. writes: “I use positive self affirmations. I place them on sticky notes in the bedroom or bathroom mirror.”

Jennifer L . shares that her confidence comes from what she’s accomplished via motherhood, “My children have taught me self confidence comes in many forms -And did you know psychology has “proven” that you either have a high self esteem or big ego but not both - so humble people tend to have healthy self esteem.”

Do you agree with what this scientific finding suggests?

Naomi Y. shares that her medical health journey has prompted a focus on confidence-building in her life. “I have been becoming more self-confident since sharing videos online. I have my art and my PCOS journey and sharing private things publicly has made it possible for me to become aware of how awesome I am. I’m not as afraid to be out there as I used to be. I still struggle with being in public on the small scale but let me put a video out for the world to see and I’m ok with that.”

What say you? Would you muster up the courage to go live online?  Courage breeds confidence over time!

Sometimes, confidence is just needed in everyday settings, like talking with other people in business or personal transactions.

Marcy C. shares, “Public speaking...meaning when talking to strangers on a bus, I look people in the eyes when they are talking and when they are listening.”

These are just some everyday ways that women are adding confidence to their everyday life creatively.  What ideas do you have that could help someone branch out? Have you experienced more confidence after trying something new?